Ethan’s office was quiet, save for the steady hum of the city outside the windows. His desk was littered with files—reports, contracts, projections. Numbers stared back at him, mocking his supposed expertise. He leaned back in his chair, rubbing his temples. The weight on his shoulders seemed to press harder every day, and no matter how much he tried to stay on top of everything, it always felt like the tide was rising faster than he could swim.
The first few months had gone well—better than well, actually. He’d gotten the hang of managing his new team, implementing strategies, and meeting targets. Everyone seemed pleased, even impressed. But somewhere along the line, something had shifted. It wasn’t just the workload, though that was daunting enough. It was a creeping sense that he was losing control, not just of the job but of himself.
Ethan had always been confident in his abilities, maybe even a little too confident at times, but now, that certainty was slipping. He felt it most in the quiet moments, when the frenzy of the day settled, and he was left alone with his thoughts. It wasn’t just doubt that plagued him; it was fear. Fear that he wasn’t enough. Fear that he’d let everyone down. Fear that he was in over his head and there was no way out.
The first time it happened, he’d brushed it off. It was just a bad day, he told himself. Everyone has them. But as the weeks passed, those bad days became more frequent. Every decision seemed more critical than the last, and the stakes always felt impossibly high. It wasn’t long before he started second-guessing himself on almost everything. Was this strategy right? Was that budget cut too deep? What if this deal didn’t go through?
“Ethan?” His assistant, Cara, poked her head in, breaking his train of thought.
He sat up quickly, pulling his hands away from his face as if caught doing something wrong. “Yeah?”
“There’s a call for you from Brad over at Central. He says it’s urgent.”
Ethan nodded, trying to snap back into the moment. “Patch it through.”
As Cara left the room, Ethan took a deep breath. Brad, one of the regional managers, was becoming a thorn in his side. The man never seemed to be able to handle his department without calling Ethan for guidance, and every time, it felt like just another problem thrown onto his already overwhelming pile.
“Brad, what’s going on?” Ethan said as soon as he picked up the line.
“Hey, Ethan. Look, I’ve got a situation here. The Westside project is about to fall through. They’re pushing back on the numbers, saying we underestimated costs. If we don’t come up with a solution fast, the whole deal might collapse.”
Ethan felt his chest tighten. “What? How did this happen?”
“We didn’t anticipate the rise in material costs. It’s—”
“That’s not an excuse, Brad,” Ethan cut in, frustration rising in his voice. “You should’ve seen this coming. Now you want me to clean it up?”
“I’m just saying we need a decision from you on how to handle this.”
There it was again—the pressure. The constant demand to fix everything, to always have the right answer. Ethan closed his eyes, willing himself to stay calm. “I’ll take a look at the numbers and get back to you by the end of the day. But this can’t keep happening. You need to be on top of these things.”
“Got it, Ethan. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Ethan hung up, his mind racing. Another fire to put out, another problem that wasn’t his to begin with but had somehow landed squarely in his lap. He stared at the phone, a knot of frustration and anxiety tightening in his chest.
That evening, as he sat at the dinner table with his family, the weight of the day still clung to him like a damp fog. Julie was chatting with the kids about school, Emily was excitedly explaining some new art project she’d started, and yet Ethan felt distant, like he was watching the scene unfold through a pane of glass. He was there, physically, but his mind was a million miles away, back at the office, back in the swirl of problems he couldn’t seem to escape.
“Ethan?” Julie’s voice broke through his haze.
“Huh?” He looked up, realizing everyone at the table was staring at him.
“I asked if you wanted more salad,” Julie repeated, her tone soft but laced with concern.
“Oh… uh, no, I’m good. Sorry, just thinking about work.”
“You’ve been doing a lot of that lately,” she said, not unkindly. “Maybe it’s time to take a break? You’ve been pushing yourself so hard.”
Ethan forced a smile, though it felt hollow. “Yeah, I know. Just… a lot going on.”
Julie gave him a look that said she didn’t entirely believe him but didn’t push. She turned back to the kids, letting the moment pass, but Ethan could feel the tension hanging in the air. He knew he wasn’t himself lately. The stress was creeping into every corner of his life, and he wasn’t handling it well.
The nights were the worst. After the kids were in bed, and the house was quiet, Ethan would sit in his office at home, staring at his laptop. He’d try to work through the mounting tasks, but more often than not, he’d find himself paralyzed by indecision. Every move felt like the wrong one, and the fear of failure loomed over him like a dark cloud.
One night, after hours of fruitless work, Ethan slammed his laptop shut and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his eyes. He felt the weight of exhaustion pressing down on him, but sleep wouldn’t come. His mind wouldn’t stop. The doubts, the fears—they gnawed at him constantly, and he didn’t know how to make them stop.
A glass of whiskey sat on his desk, half-finished. He hadn’t been much of a drinker before, but lately, it seemed to help take the edge off. Just a glass or two to unwind. It wasn’t a problem, he told himself. He had it under control. But deep down, Ethan knew it was just another way of trying to dull the anxiety that had taken root inside him.
As the weeks went by, the cracks in Ethan’s confidence grew wider. He started snapping at his team more frequently, his temper flaring over small mistakes. Brad’s calls became more frequent, and each one seemed to erode Ethan’s patience a little more. He could feel the tension building, the frustration bubbling just beneath the surface.
It wasn’t long before his performance started slipping. Reports were late, decisions were delayed, and his once-impeccable reputation began to tarnish. His team noticed, but no one dared say anything. They still saw Ethan as the strong, capable leader, but he knew the truth—he was unraveling.
One evening, after a particularly grueling day, Julie found him sitting in his office, staring blankly at his computer screen. “Ethan, what’s going on?” she asked softly, sitting down beside him.
He didn’t answer right away, didn’t know how to put into words the storm that was brewing inside him. “I don’t know,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I just… don’t know.”
The cracks had become too deep to ignore, and Ethan knew it. But instead of reaching out for help, instead of confronting the growing chaos within him, he kept pressing forward, telling himself he could handle it. Telling himself he had no other choice.
But even as he told himself those lies, a part of him knew—he was already starting to fall.
Part 1 | Part 3
