His Banner Over Me Was Love
God Doesn’t Just Love You—He Delights in You
Scripture Focus: “He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.” — Song of Songs 2:4 (KJV)
Let me ask you something right out of the gate: How do you believe God feels about you?
Not what you know He should feel. Not the Sunday school answer. I mean deep down, in those quiet places of the heart you don’t let many people see—do you believe God actually delights in you?
I didn’t.
For over 16 years as a Christian, I walked around with the quiet belief that God’s love for me was kind of… contractual. He had to love me. After all, 1 John 4:8 says “God is love,” and John 3:16 tells us He gave His only begotten Son to save us. But it always felt more like a divine obligation than divine desire.
That kind of belief messes with your soul.
When Love Feels Like a Job
This all came to a head for me recently when I stumbled across a TikTok (yes, TikTok) of a woman recounting her college days. She was wrestling with a “turn or burn” version of the gospel she’d heard from campus evangelists. And while there’s truth in the urgency of repentance, her heart was starving for something deeper—something more relational.
Her roommate reframed it for her: “Yes, we need a Savior, but the why isn’t just wrath—it’s love.”
That shook something loose in me. I started revisiting an old sermon I’d heard on the Song of Songs—a book I had practically ignored for years because I misunderstood its purpose. I thought it was just awkward Hebrew poetry about romance. What I didn’t realize was it held the very intimacy with God I’d been unknowingly craving.
The Song of Songs isn’t about evangelism. It’s for believers. It’s for those of us who already know Jesus saves—but now wonder if He likes us.
Performing for Love
If you’ve ever felt like God tolerates you more than He treasures you, you’re not alone. This belief seeps into our identity, shaping how we relate to Him—and others.
I used to think:
- I’m only valuable if I perform well.
- If I mess up, God turns His back.
- Prayer is a checklist. Worship is a duty. Scripture is homework.
All lies. All symptoms of a heart that thinks love must be earned. And sadly, it’s not rare. Christians who carry this mindset often struggle with shame, legalism, perfectionism, anxiety, and spiritual burnout.
It’s like being married to someone who says, “I love you because I have to.” Soul-crushing, right?
Yet many of us believe that’s how God loves us. Intellectually, we know better. Emotionally? It doesn’t always register.
God’s Banner Over You
That’s why Song of Songs 2:4 hit me like a ton of grace: “He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.”
That’s not obligation. That’s pursuit.
And the rest of the book backs it up. Let’s look at a few key verses together:
- Song of Songs 1:2-4 — “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine… the upright love thee.”
This isn’t about physical affection. This is deep yearning—an ache for intimacy, not checklist Christianity. It’s the soul saying, “I want to be close to God—not because I have to, but because I can.” - Song of Songs 2:10-13 — “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.”
Jesus is calling us away from distraction, not dragging us out of duty. He’s wooing us into a relationship. That’s desire, not obligation. - Song of Songs 4:9-10 — “Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse.”
That word “ravished” means overwhelmed. Can you imagine that? Your love moves the heart of God. - Song of Songs 6:3 — “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.”
This is mutual. He isn’t just your Savior—He’s your Bridegroom. He doesn’t just claim you; He cherishes you. - Song of Songs 7:10 — “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.”
Not tolerance. Not silent obligation. Desire. That’s the language God uses for you.
Beloved, Not Barely Accepted
You weren’t just saved from hell. You were saved to Him. To relationship. To communion. To delight.
And if any of what I’ve shared today resonates—if your soul has felt unseen, unloved, or like you’ve had to earn your place at the table—I want you to hear this clearly:
God doesn’t just save you. He wants you.
He doesn’t just accept you. He delights in you.
He isn’t just coming again. He’s preparing you for the wedding.
The cross wasn’t just a transaction. It was a dowry. Christ paid the price so you could belong to Him—not begrudgingly, but joyfully.
Final Encouragement
So what do you do if you don’t feel this? Start here:
- Tell God the truth.
“Lord, I believe in You. But I don’t feel like You delight in me. Help me feel what Your Word says is true.” - Read the Song of Songs.
Put yourself in the position of the bride. It may feel weird at first, but remember—this is about intimacy, not gender. This is about your soul’s position before the God who desires you. - Let God break through.
That’s what happened to me. After years of striving, I broke down. Not from shame—but from relief. I finally saw myself the way He sees me.
Let that be your story too.
You are not barely tolerated.
You are His beloved.
He delights in you.
